Get the Barking Under Control, Please: An Open Letter to My Dog-Owning Neighbors
I want to start by saying you are both cool neighbors. We don't talk much, but I think our limited interactions perfectly embody the phrase "no news is good news," and I enjoy our occasional driveway waves.
In the words of Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson: "Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."
Secondly, I want to point out that I am a huge dog person. I grew up with dogs, and I know they are adorable furballs that tend to bark at inopportune times. However, because of that, I also know that you can get your dogs' barking under control.
You each let your large dogs into your backyards at around 6 a.m. every morning. I get it, they have to pee — but what ensues is an incredibly loud barking competition between your canines.
Since my house is in between each of yours, I am sandwiched in a vortex of incessant sound, held prisoner to your dogs' ceaseless barking. I wouldn't even care if you brought them in after they'd done their business — I would roll over and go back to sleep.
But you don't.
You leave them out there for hours, and they bark the entire time. There's no way you can't hear it, but you choose to leave your dogs outside so they aren't inside bothering you.
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Perhaps you're both early risers and enjoy the morning wake-up calls, but trust me — the rest of us are not and do not. Letting your dogs bark endlessly is rude to me, our other neighbors, and your dogs.
Why not let them inside to hang out with you? I'm sure they would appreciate it, and I would, too.
Your irritated (and sleep-deprived) neighbor