Stop the Wedding Hashtag: An Open Letter to My Friends Getting Married

To all of my friends, real and Facebook,

It's bad enough that I have to look at all your 'just holding hands in Old Town' and 'together our hands make a heart' engagement photos. Yeah, I get it, you can make a heart with your hands; let's move on. I literally just tried it with the guy at the 7-Eleven across the street, it does not mean you're adorable and in love. Now, close your barn chic Pinterest tab and listen to me for a minute.

*Gets uninvited to all weddings.* 

OK, so you put your last names together. You might have even done something clever with it. How... cute. But not really. #IDontCareIfYourLastNamesMakeaWordPlay. It's actually about as original as 'Live, Laugh, Love' art and having a rustic country-themed reception where everyone drinks out of Mason jars.

I thought I was alone in the #StoptheWeddingHashtag battle until I Googled '#StoptheWeddingHashtag.' I found this:

On the long list of Things That Are The Absolute Worst, couples who broadcast their weddings on social media rank somewhere between getting a full-body cavity search at the airport and overly earnest acoustic covers of Justin Bieber songs on YouTube.     Source: EJ Dickson, Daily Dot

Well said, Google search results. Well said.

Where is all this bitterness coming from, Shelby? Well, really it just makes the rest of us feel like s**t because we don't get to have that special someone to make a social media pun baby with. #ShelbySaidYes2Pizza? No. No, that doesn't work.

Gee, I hope someday I find a man willing to make a hashtag with me.

Until then, on behalf of myself, and all the other single people you know, I don't think it's all that much for us to ask you to please, stop #hashtagging your weddings. We beg you, actually.

Yours truly,

Shelby (the girl you just un-friended)