7 Things Chris Rock Could Say to Get Slapped in Fort Collins
Everyone has been talking about the slap that Will Smith gave Chris Rock at the Academy Awards; let's look at some things he could say around Fort Collins to get one.
First let me say that in no way am I trying to make light light of Jada Pinkett Smith's alopecia condition. Since the incident, many memes have come out, and I thought we could look at some things that Mr. Rock could utter to get a slap out of us.
Nobody wants to slap Chris Rock, but we can take a look at some things that he might say that could rub us the wrong way, just enough, to have us getting up out of our chairs. "How dare you, Sir.'
Say that Fort Collins is just sitting there minding its own business and somebody were to say that Loveland is better. No way. Does Loveland have a love for hiking, craft beer and cycling? No. Slap.
Sure, Fuzzy's Taco Shop is trendy. Sure, you'll see tons of people there all the time having fun. However, The Rio Grande is legendary and has been a part of Fort Collins for far too long for us to take such a comment. Slap.
Yes, Bruce's Bar is in Severance, but to not at least visit Bruce's is wrong. You could get away with going to Bruce's and not having any Rocky Mountain Oysters, but to not go at all because 'that's gross..' Slap.
Easy... Easy... If someone were to say this, they'd be lucky to get off with just a slap and not end up in the 200-ft depth of Horsetooth. Horsetooth is far from overrated; it has the best boating, the best fishing, the best waterskiing. Plus it's a local water supply. Slap.
Everyone knows that rooting for the Rockies is futile. While it's true that the home opener is fun and going to ANY game at Coors Field, really, is a blast, to think that this season will fare any better for the 'Blake Street Bombers' is worthy of a... Slap.
Oh, boy. Now he's gone and done it. Roundabouts around Fort Collins and the Northern Colorado area are becoming the bane of our existence around here. To come up and say that (whether it's true or not) they're efficient? Slap.